Some of the brightest lights come from the darkest places. It is in that darkness that we learn to shine…
My story starts long before Beachbody and Coaching came into my life. I was in my early 30’s and still had not accepted that I was an alcoholic. It’s a hard thing to do: admit you have a problem. The acceptance would mean that I had to break up with my best friend. And no, I don’t mean a real best friend, I mean the alcohol. Funny though that I would use that title. This “best friend” had never done anything for me but cause my ruin. Sure, in the beginning it was fun. And there were times I actually enjoyed drinking. But those times were long gone by the time I was in my 30’s. This disease, and yes my friends, it is a disease, but it is the only disease that the person who has it has a say so over whether they are cured. This disease had robbed me of some of my very best friends, my dignity, several jobs, nice cars, nice anything, my dreams, my potential, my happiness and peace, and it had certainly robbed me of my health.
But through a whole lotta heartache, some serious potential consequences (including losing my teaching license, freedom, and marriage) I was able to see the light and actually want recovery this time. That’s the ticket, you have to want it. And I totally get how things can be super bad and still not want it. I’ve been there. For me, it was waking up in jail…again…even though I was in my third and final week of outpatient rehab. I will spare you the details, but just know that I have a guardian ANGEL who was working overtime to keep everyone safe the night before when I chose to drive my car in a blackout, all the way from Waynesfield, OH to Spencerville, OH. I don’t remember the arrest, the ride to the jail, the booking, going to sleep, nothing. I just remember waking up, in that cell, looking up, and saying to the God of my understanding, “Ok…I give up. I’m ready.” I wish I could say that was the first time I had woken up in jail the same way, but it wasn’t. This was the second time that had happened. But this time was different. I meant it this time.
It’s amazing the “deals” we make with God when we want to get out of something. I had made plenty of deals. This time, it wasn’t a deal. I was utterly and completely bankrupt. Of everything. Can you imagine the feeling of using that jail phone to call your husband to tell him you’re in jail? The last thing he knew was leaving for his weekly bowling league and I was at home, relaxing with the dogs and would be asleep when he got home. This was the wife he had married. What a let down. You can imagine how he felt. Let’s just say I had to walk to the rehab that day. Luckily the jail isn’t far from St. Rita’s in Lima. And luckily I was welcomed in, just as I had been on day one. Only this time I reeked of alcohol, was in the same clothes as the night before, with no shower and no toothbrush. When I arrived, my counselor had me sit outside the meeting room on the floor. He left me with this question. Looked me right in the eyes and said, “Was it worth it?” As I sat there, thinking about his question, I realized that it wasn’t it hadn’t been, and it never would be. It was time to swallow the FACT that I was indeed an alcoholic, that I needed help, and that I had to do what I was told, to work a program, and to get it right this time. The best part about it was that I didn’t have to do it alone. In fact, I couldn’t do it alone. And I was ready. That was 11/08/11. I’d like to say that this is still my sobriety date. But it’s not. My sobriety date is 03/25/12. But it was a fail forward, and one last lesson I needed to learn.
Today my life is different in every way imaginable. I actually like who I see in the mirror. I love who I am on the inside, and I embrace the hard times, for they help me to grow. I rarely think about taking a drink, and I have a peace of mind I never had before sobriety. I have a beautiful family, a strong marriage, and I am finally walking in purpose. You see, Beachbody did not begin my transformation, sobriety did. But Beachbody came to me at the perfect time. I was solid in my sobriety (because of the continual support of my group and my sponsor) but I was wanting more from my life. I had an 8 month old and wanted to get back into shape and feel good again. If you are a mom of an infant, you know how draining it is. If you are a parent, you know how it feels to put everything and everyone else first. That’s how I felt anyways. In walked my best friend from childhood, inviting me to my first challenge. Before the month was up, I said YES to coaching. I saw the opportunity to help other moms and women in general to get their sparkle back: their fitness, nutrition, energy, and confidence. And if being a coach and helping others could lead to me leaving my full time teaching job and coming home to be a full time mom to my Annie, I was EXCITED to give it my best shot. And give it I did! Fast forward two years later and here I am, newly retired from teaching and enjoying my first summer off where I don’t have to return in the fall and leave her again. Only this summer is extra special because I now have two babies to care for. I do not take this blessing lightly. I am grateful for every late night, every struggle, every “Not right now” I’ve received along the way in my coaching journey. You see, I am a light worker. I am a life changer. I am a coach! And not everyone is ready when I invite them in, and that’s ok. I know that this is my purpose. To help other women, and even some fellas, to turn that light on for themselves. This life can be anything we want it to be. I learned that through coaching. My mindset is so much better, broader, more creative, forward-thinking, and abundant because of my coaching journey. The fact is, when you are surrounded with others who also have this kind of life-changing purpose mindset, it affects you. It causes you to dream bigger, live brighter, and just absolutely go out there and CREATE the life you’ve always imagined.
So today I will close in gratitude and an invite for you to dig into your authentic power! This life is too short to spend it doing things that don’t make you light up from the inside out. I am here as a coach to anyone who not only needs me but who also wants me and what I can offer. Just takes the willingness to find out.
Light and love from me to you. There is always hope. There is always a way. And you can CREATE your own life of design. Just look at me. If I did this, you can too. Some of the brightest lights come from the darkest places. It is in that darkness that we learn to shine. Remember that!